Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize