Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's shark week go big or go home
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
