No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
