He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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