He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize