You work out of a Hotel?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Sober January is a disaster.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
