Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
