I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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