watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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