Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
