is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
