Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize