im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
