i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
