Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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