after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
