Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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