I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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