his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
