youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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