worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize