he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
