Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
