11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
