everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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