There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize