So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
