me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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