I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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