i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
