There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
