I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize