Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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