i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
