butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
