Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
