Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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