the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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