ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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