the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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