This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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