I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize