I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Buhtt sex?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
