Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
