you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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