can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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