I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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