Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
