I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The ass gains better be worth it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
