She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
