Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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