I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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