she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
time to smoke my breakfast
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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