we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
