What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
