Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
