He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
