Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize