its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
