..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
