Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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