Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
