I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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