why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize