Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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