matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
