Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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