Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The best revenge is premature balding
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
