Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize