dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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