You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize