Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
